Drunk Horny Guys

I love drunk horny guys.......or at least the things they say lol. I was recently at a party and there was one particular guy that just had the most entertaining things to say! Knowing I have a horrible memory, I wrote it ALL down. Genius, I know. So fortunately I can share it with the world. Here is a list of some (no really, only some) of the dumb shit he said. And my personal opinion about the matter :)

1) "I'm so drunk I could make out with a microwave!"

Really? A microwave? Of all appliances, this is obviously the one I would want to kiss too. Radiation tastes great! But I think, as a guy, you could find a vacuum of much more service.

2) "Your hair smells like macaroni and cheese! Dude, I love mac and cheese, I have never told a girl this before. Dude I'm like at the spaghetti factory right now."

......Spaghetti factory? Honestly (and I did check the menu, not the kids one though) they do not even serve mac and cheese! And yeah I would hope you never told a girl that.....let alone a guy either.

3) "John are these your shorts? They smell like pubes!"

Pubes......? Not balls, or sweat, or dick.......pubes. Why would you know what pubes smell like? My guess? The smell is similar to mac and cheese?

4) "Look at him! He is such a little cutie"

I dare you to guess what he was referring to. Ha. He was looking in his pants. I'm sorry gentlemen but under no circumstances should you refer to yourself as a little cutie. I don't care if it's a half inch hard! You act like that is the roughest half inch anyone will ever get!

Ha, that's my peace.